Ah, the end of the year.
The time for reflection, choice, and action!
The time to declare what you want or what you’ll accomplish.
The claim that THIS will be THE year that things are different.
There are a couple common approaches
to the energy of a New Year.
One is what I call the Push-Push. It goes a little like this:
“No more waiting!
This is the year I really DO the thing!
No more procrastination!
No more hesitation!
I’m going to kick my ass into gear, and really get my shit together this time.
THIS will be the year I break through all my self-imposed limits and the limits of society and feel the bliss of success! All I have to do is PUSH, WORK, HUSTLE, and MAKE myself do it! Yeah!”
Sound familiar? This was totally me at the beginning of 2017.
I was tired of old patterns holding me back. I was ready for big things to happen. And I was sure that if I just cracked my whip and got my ass into gear, that everything would be different – better – than it ever had been.
Deep down I believed that I was behind in the game, not doing enough, or didn’t want it enough, and that if I just “got down to business” I’d show the Universe – and the world – that I was serious and responsible and worthy of the success I craved.
Another common approach to the energy of the New Year is one I call “Ultimate Positivity.” It goes something like this:
“I’ve been letting the weight of the world – or my past – get me DOWN – NO MORE!
This is the year to LET THAT SHIT GO!
I just need to do a vision board to start my year off right, do an emotional clearing to get past my old wounds, set my intentions to not let any negative thoughts bring me down, and trust that all will work itself out!
I mean, after all, the Universe is on my side, and it wants me to be happy and free! No more hustle, no more failed launches.
THIS is the year I trust that everything will work out, do my daily practice, think positive thoughts, spread love & light, and watch as the world rearranges itself to bring me everything I’ve ever wanted and MORE!”
Sound familiar? If I’m honest I’ve done this multiple times, and I’ve seen many students and clients do the same.
There was a time where I was sure that if I just thought right, and believed, that the world would shower all of its riches upon me. Deep down I figured that the lack of reaching my goals up until then was a sign that I wasn’t doing life right, that I was still stuck in the past, and that this was the year I’d align myself with a “higher truth” and bypass all the sweat and tears that hadn’t gotten me “there” yet anyway.
I’m curious – do you relate to either of these approaches?
I’m also curious – do you see the danger zones in them, too?
If you follow my work at all, you probably already know that I’m not one to think of choices (or anything) in terms of right/wrong. So I won’t say that these approaches are “wrong,” per se. What I do like to ask myself and my clients (and the world) instead is:
does this work according to what we have in mind?
So when I say “danger zones,” I don’t mean in danger of being “wrong,” but in danger of not actually working if what you have in mind is finding yourself at the end of 2020 feeling fulfilled, accomplished, and like you made the impact & income you set out to.
But before I point out the danger zones, let’s get real about the parts of these two approaches that actually do “work.”
In the Push-Push approach, the thing that works is recognizing that it *will* take ACTION to reach any goals or intentions you have set for the New Year.
It is the understanding that you’ll have to get out of your head, break free of past patterns, and do something in order for your desires to be realized.
This is super important, and we’ll come back to it in a minute.
In the Ultimate Positivity approach, what works is the understanding that the Universe is for you and never against you.
That the *how* of your actions is nearly as important (if not more so) as the *what*.
Plus, science agrees that a brain that is able to see life through an optimistic lens is better able to handle life’s constant change and challenges.
Sweet. Glad we got that cleared up!
Here’s what doesn’t work, though, if what you have in mind is sitting around in December 2020 basking in the glory of all you’ve created and experienced:
- Approaching any action from a sense of less-than or brokenness
- Taking an either/or approach to how you build your business
- Trying to become someone else to make your business work
- Beating yourself up for where you are now or how you got here
- Expecting outer circumstances to change through mere action
- Expecting outer circumstances to change through mere belief
- Thinking that someone or something outside of you will save you
- Slapping on a “new” way over layers of unhealed wounds
I could keep going, but I think you get the idea.
Remember how I said I started 2017 with that Push-Push approach?
Well, here’s how the end of the story goes: in 2017 I barely made any money, and I definitely wasn’t having fun. I kept pushing things forward that weren’t in alignment and crashing internally when they failed.
I kept giving my power away to other mentors and coaches and leaders who told me what I “should” be doing, and then feeling worse when those strategies also failed to bring in business.
By the end of the year, I was so burned out, had major health challenges, and felt completely deflated. I spent the last 4-6 weeks of the year on the couch, physically, mentally, and emotionally recovering.
Despite loving the service I had been providing clients for 8 years, I gave myself permission to give up my practice, and for a couple of weeks, that’s what I was sure I was going to do. There was no way I could keep going the way I had been. Not only was it not enjoyable, it wasn’t working.
As 2018 approached, I said to myself:
It is totally ok if you don’t want to do this anymore.
But, is that what you really want?
The answer I got from deep within was a resounding NO. That I was born for this. That there is always a way to make things work, and I just hadn’t found it yet. My big WHY of wanting to help leaders feel more Worthy, Connected, and Free hadn’t gone away.
I’d just lost touch with the HOW to get there.
In all the attempts to prove and please and profit, I’d forgotten the truth of who I was.
So, I made myself a promise.
My promise was that in 2018, I would only take action that felt aligned. Ironically, I had spent the previous decade+ learning what alignment felt like in every other area of my life! Business was the one place I was still coming from that old programming that said I couldn’t possibly succeed by being who I really am.
I committed to taking what I had been practicing all along
into every aspect of my how I ran and built my practice.
In 2018, everything changed. Here’s what I did differently:
- I created a customized daily practice for myself that worked with my rebellious nature and my desire to start my morning with intention and connection to myself and Source.
- I stopped having conversations with people who left me feeling depleted, misunderstood, or not good enough.
- I brought my awareness of what alignment feels like in my body and heart into the actions of my business, and only chose offerings and strategies that felt in alignment with who I am, the impact I wanted to make, and my family’s lifestyle.
- If I started shifting back into that old paradigm energy of not-good-enough-have-to-push-and-force I would simply get up, and walk away from my work. If I couldn’t get back to an aligned place, I took the rest of the day off.
- I committed to at least two days a week where I didn’t do or think about work, and even gave myself “Freedom Fridays” which I’d leave unscheduled and decide on the day what I wanted to do with myself.
- While I still got coaching and followed mentors I trusted and continued to invest time and money in my own training and healing, I broke the pattern of giving anyone my power and assuming that anyone knew more about my business than I did.
- I stayed connected to my big WHY, and let it guide the way, especially in moments of confusion.
- I got more support from friends and colleagues, and invited them to hold me accountable to my new commitment to ease and play in 2018.
Here’s some highlights from that year:
- For the first three quarters of 2018, I made more money each month than the month before.
- My monthly event grew from an average attendance of 6-10 to an average of 15-20, and I had the whole year of speakers booked by the end of first quarter. I also implemented a profit-share model with my guest speakers that helped to increase my income and my leadership.
- I signed on a new level of clients willing to do the work, were super committed to their own healing and growth, and who I adored working with.
- I took some impactful training that supported me in unpacking and healing my own unconscious bias and internalized racism so that I could be an even better leader for my community.
- I got invited to be interviewed more often, and to speak on other people’s stages.
- I co-led a one-day retreat for Spiritual Women Entrepreneurs.
As you can see, it made quite a difference! And my people noticed.
Now, as we move into another New Year, I see others falling into the traps I did.
The traps of feeling like success will only come by becoming something you’re not.
Of buying into the Old Paradigm ideals of “no pain no gain” and thinking that you can force your way into fulfillment.
Of fearing that you’ll never have the life or business that you crave.
Instead, remember as you decide how to approach 2020 that:
You already have what it takes to succeed in business and life, whatever success means to you.
You are freaking amazing!
The world needs your unique perspective, and your unique light. Don’t dim it for anyone.
There is no escape from life’s up’s & down’s, no magic pill or affirmation that will keep challenges at bay. BUT, the more you know who you are and trust yourself and the Universe, the better equipped you are to handle whatever comes up.
Keep listening to your intuition, and let your body and your heart guide you. Get the support you need to heal wounds and patterns that might get in the way of this.
You are an expression of the Divine, because it lives as you. Nothing you’ve ever done, said, thought, or chosen can take that away. You may forget, but you can re-remember.
Surround yourself with people who celebrate your light, respect your boundaries, and call you on your shit when needed. Life is too short for people-pleasing or light-dimming.
Sometimes you have to give up what isn’t working in order to make space for what will.
There is No One Right Way – find the ways that work with exactly who you are.
For the past few years I’ve chosen a word to align with for the year.
In 2017 it was VISIBILITY and in 2019 it was CREATE. I’ll admit, I cannot recall what my word was for 2018! Maybe it is better that way.
For 2020, my word is LOVE.
Whatever your word is or your intentions are for the New Year, may you enjoy lots of Love and Joy, and many opportunities to bless the world with your brilliant light.
Thank you for being you, and for being on this journey of discovery and impact with me.
If there is any way I can support you, please reach out. You’re not alone, and you’re not meant to be.
Happy New Year from Starr at Radical Revelations!
What’s YOUR word or intention for 2020? Share that and anything else you got from this in the comments!